Sunday, June 1, 2014

Beg(inning)

Her legs dangled over the edge of the tub, frozen in a jaunty position. It looked as if she were in an eternal swing dance pose ~ forever suspended in midair with her legs in the middle of the perfectly executed Lindy Hop.

…….finally……… the voice whispered in my mind.

“Finally.” I said aloud. The strangers and demons in the room turned to look at me curiously. No judgement, no condemnation. Just curiousity. Perhaps attempting to interpret the single word and its meaning.
I flung the crimson shower curtain sideways. The metal clinked and the fabric swooshed. The strangers and demons turned to focus on the new sounds filling the cavernous bathroom.  I was temporarily forgotten.


“Finally(finally)!” the voices in my mind and in my mouth joined forces to assert their agreement. Ascending toward the heavens, the word swirled and tumbled through the air. Moving slowly up and up and up. 

And out 
of me.
Finally.

Her death was my release. And I was not sad. I was not angry. I was not lost or hopeless or scared or any of the things ~
I was supposed to be.
I looked at the strangers and demons and smiled at them.

The looked back at me with sparkling yet vacant eyes. They agreed with the voices. Internal.
And external.
Finally it was done. She was gone. And I could breathe again.
 

1 comment: