Monday, July 23, 2012

Negotiations during a car ride. A love story.

“Do you want to discuss boundaries with her, or shall I do it?” I ask.
“What, like negotiate? You do it.  Please.”  He replies quickly.
“Fine. You can spank her but your cock stays in your pants.”
“Hmm. I might want to pull her hair and slap her around a bit too.” He changes lanes and steals a glance at me out of the corner of his beautiful blue eyes.
“If you start slapping her your cock will get hard. Then she’ll have to give you head.” I respond, exasperated.
“Head is good.” He smiles and shakes the head on his shoulders in the affirmative.
“Ok, but you have to skull fuck her. I mean really fucking hard.” My response makes his eyes bulge a bit but he recovers quickly.
“Sure babe.  Whatever you want.  I’ll choke her and make sure she pukes a little too, ok?” he says soothingly. 
My inner sadist is appeased.
“Agreed. Thank you for that!” I grin to myself and look out the window as the cars in rush hour traffic inch by.
“Gods, these are the conversations I have with my wife.  I love you!” he brakes for the stop light and reaches over to kiss my cheek.

Today, we’re both happy.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Six Things I Wish I'd Never Done

This one is hard for me, as I'm a firm believer that every moment of my life has paved the path to where I'm at now... and right now I'm happy.  In my opinion, changing anything would shift the balance and change EVERYTHING.  Butterfly effect if you will.  So there's the disclaimer. Having said that; here's my little list:

1.  Gave up on my relationship with Vomit while it was still salvageable.  I miss her friendship so much it is literally physically painful from time to time.  Realistically the damage was too severe and we were unhealthy for each other anyway, probably toxic.  But yea.  I miss that fucking bitch.  A lot.

2.  Started getting ghetto tattoos before I was old enough to go to a reputable shop.  I'm paying for that now in cover ups.  UGH.

3.  Dismissed 'M' so unceremoniously.  I played her pretty hard. Not cool.

4.  Dated David.  We were bff.  Sex *does* ruin some relationships.

5.  Drank so much in my 20's.  There are rather large periods of time that are blurry / hazy / furry in my memory.  I would like to remember them more clearly.

6.  Gotten arrested.  Gods that was stupid of me >.<

7.  Gained back so much of the weight I lost. Starting over sucks.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

7 things that cross my mind a lot

1.  How far space extends and what exactly 'infinite' means.

2.  What happens when this vessel I'm encapsulated in ceases to function.

3.  If he loves me like I love him.

4.  If she loves me like I love her.

5.  If I'll be able to conceive.

6.  When is my next tattoo session.

7.  When can I beat him again.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

8 Ways to win my heart

1.  Be creative.  Compose music, draw, paint, make jewelry, deconstruct and reconstruct clothing, write, sing.  If it's original and comes from your heart, I will love it.

2.  Be nice to the waiter/bartender/cashier.

3.  Hold doors open.  For me and for strangers.

4.  Compliment me.  I might know how you feel, but I need to hear the wurds.

5.  Kill the spiders.

6.  Surprise me.

7.  Public displays of affection.  Lots of them.

8.  Make me laugh.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Nine Things About Me

1.  People wear me out; mentally and physically.  It literally exhausts me to be around people for more than a few hours at a time.

2.  I have social anxiety.  It's not crippling, I'm able to work and go to the market and such; but I have often driven all the way to the doors of a social function then turned around and drove home without ever leaving the sanctuary of my vehicle.

3.  I try not to judge people but it is next to impossible.  I have so many preconceived notions and it's hard to ignore them.

4.  When I wear dresses/shirts that show my back I feel very exposed and naked, and it's because I don't have tattoos on that part of my body.  I want to get a large shoulder piece so I will feel more complete.

5.  The Stand by Stephen King is the only book I have ever finished then immediately turned back to page one to start reading again.

6.  I am sexually confident.  I don't feel ashamed of my body or the things that I do with myself and others to make myself sexually satisfied.

7.  I like to cause consensual pain.  I was violent in a very unhealthy way until my late 20's, when I discovered that there were people who enjoyed pain and would agree to let me hurt them.

8.  I had the spelling of my first name legally changed for purely aesthetic and artistic reasons.

9.  I fall in love with my husband at least twice a month.