Saturday, June 23, 2012

Ten Things I'd like to say to someone right now:

1.  I used to wish you had been a good parent to me. Then I realized that would have changed who I am today, and I don't want to be anybody else. So thank you for sucking at life. You've made me stronger.

2.  I hate that you pretend you don't know me.  I want to punch you in the fucking face and rage and scream and throw things at you, anything for a reaction.  She doesn't love you like I did, and she never will.

3.  Quit drinking so much.  You're way more attractive sober.

4.  Your jealousy is flattering.  Now quit bothering me and grow the fuck up.

5.  I don't think I could live a single day without hearing you say my name.

6.  You are the best person I know.  If I could take your pain and sorrow and heart break away I would without a second thought.  You deserve to be happy, and I'm sorry life has dealt you such a shitty hand.  I believe the next time around you will be more blessed.  And I believe I will be there to share that with you too.

7.  I'm afraid to tell you how I feel about you because I think you would run away and hide. I'm relatively certain you feel the same.  I don't want to lose you, so I'll remain silent.

8.  I want you to live in my house, as my wife.  I know it's not plausible.  I know you love him more than you love me.  But you do love me.  Ignoring that fact won't make it go away.  I plan to kiss you before I die, so you should probably prepare yourself for that.

9.  I wish you were proud of me.  I wish I was enough for you.  I wish you understood that I can't help being this way, it's not a choice.  I hope you know how much I respect you.  You are the closest embodiment of the Goddess image in my eyes.

10. No matter who you become or what you do in life, I will always support your decisions.  I don't regret a single second of the time I spent with you. I wouldn't change one fucking thing about you. Not one.  You are perfect.  Please give yourself the love you deserve.  The world is a hard, cruel, and ugly place ~ but you make it better just by being alive.  Stay true to yourself no matter what the cost.  Those who love you will *always* love you, regardless of any circumstance.  You are the first unconditional love I've ever known and I thank you for teaching me compassion and patience.  I look forward to knowing you for the rest of my days.